The utter Monty Python-esque craziness of GTA V

Temujin81 back again! Writing a personal opinion on GTA V!

What's up, dawg??
What’s up, dawg??

I was always a massive GTA fan. Ever since the beginning, when you could drive around in funny looking cars, fart in the streets, all while viewing it all from the top. And we are talking 18 (!!) years of a series that does not seem to show signs of stopping! And we hope that it goes on and on and on and on… Like the famous Duracell bunny! 😀

There should be a mod with this fella! Modders, get to work!!
There should be a mod with this fella! Modders, get to work!!

Not 2/3 months ago, I finally had the chance to try the most recent edition of the game, GTA V! I had been excited to try it, since it was announced 2 years ago. And, man, was it brutal! 😀
I can guaranty that I was even more pleased than I thought I would be! Granted, I think that the map in GTA San Andreas seems to be bigger. But, bloody hell, the open area world in GTA V is something else entirely!

Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle, the superquake happened! Los Santos is an island!!
Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle, the superquake happened! Los Santos is an island!!

The sheer madness in terms of things to do, people to talk to, cars to steal, other people to kill or smack, is CRAZY! I mean, during the game, with Trevor (I’ll get to the playable characters in a bit), you get to talk to a guy dressed as a zombie, cosplaying, in Vinewood (in-game Hollywood) and the conversation goes as follows:
Trevor – My brother!
Zombie – Hey!
Trevor – No… You remind me of my brother, Ryan… I mean, after he was dead.
Zombie – Oh… I’m sorry about that.
Trevor – No, no, no, no. Don’t be sorry, I’m glad he was dead. I… err. Well… It was an accident. Alright? That’s all I have to say.
Zombie – Pfft. Okay.
Trevor – Now, I’m confused on something here the… the brain thing. I mean, what is it? Ya know? Uh, it’s not very tasty. Right? You got a sizable carcass. You start with the loins first. And then the legs. Eh? Far tastier.
Zombie – Oh, it’s what they say in the movie.
Trevor – What movie?
Zombie – Uh, Vinewood Zombie, man.
Trevor – What? You’re in a movie?
Zombie – No, I’m a character from a movie… I… Well I’m dressed like a character.
Trevor – Why?
Zombie – Well it’s… it’s kind of my job. Cosplay.
Trevor – So, you’re not really dead?
Zombie – No! I’m a graduate, man…
Trevor – Arrrrggghhhh!! God, I will never understand this town!

The zombie!
The zombie!
The Trevor (zombie)!
The Trevor (zombie)!

Now, it’s up to the player what to do next. With me, keeping in character, I proceeded to smacking the young zombie so hard that he passed out (or died, we never know in these games) and all of a sudden, I’ve got cops all over me! So what’s the logic thing to do? Surrender. Let yourself get arrested, right? WRONG!! I go on a Hulk-like rage and run away, whilst slapping, kicking, punching and headbutting the bejsesus out of every unfortunate pedestrian in Los Santos (Los Angeles). And I loved it!! My fellow geeks and I cried to tears just with that little moment!

It's the FUZZ!!!
It’s the FUZZ!!!

This is just one possible thing to do in this game. If you are more into shoot ‘em up’s, this game is for you. If you like racing, it’s for you. If you like dress up games, it’s for you too. And if you like mayhem and utter destruction, it’s definitely for you!

KABOOM Muthaf**ka!!!
KABOOM Muthaf**ka!!!

And they give the playable characters more depth. This not mentioning the fact that you can control 3 different people in game. Sometimes, all three, depending on the mission.
So let’s take a look at the characters, mentioning their overall personalities and not mentioning other traits or abilities:
– Trevor:

Hey, baby!!
The Trevor (normal)!

Now, I’ve mentioned Trevor in this post, simply because the dude is absolutely hilarious! I mean, you can’t get any crazier than a meth head, pot smoking, beer drinking, sex-driven, STD carrying cannibal nutter!! His gung-ho attitude is simply amazing and one cannot but feel his rage, because deep down, everyone who lives in a big city has thought about wreaking havoc at least once in their lives (don’t deny it!) He, in my opinion, manages to give the game that extra push toward greatness! One of my top ten favourites of all playable characters, for sure!

– Michael:

The Wise Guy!
The Wise Guy!

Michael is the unofficial leader of this band of misfits. I compare him to a Ray Liotta wise guy type. Although not really in the Mafia (he’s more of a professional thief) but has everything needed to be a made-man! He is the favourite of at least one of my fellow geeks and is an all-round good guy, completely opposite to the mental case that is Trevor. Another funny thing about Michael, is his fight against depression and his typically destroyed family.

– Franklin:

The Franklin!
The Franklin!

And we come to the youngest member of this gang. Franklin is the boy from the hood, the local kid. Franklin is a hoodlum, who’s good at stealing cars. He is in some way linked to the Grove Street Families that we know so well from the San Andreas game. Another all-round good guy, who is probably even nicer than Michael. He’s another geeks favourite! Another good thing about Franklin is that early in the game, you get to take care of a lovely Rottweiler by the name of Chop (Chop, Chop, Pork Chop!!). I think their relationship is awesome! I found that Franklin is the balance to the Yin and Yang that are Trevor and Michael.

The Chop!
The Chop!

All in all, I fell in love with the game. It’s truly open-world playing is out of this world (I mean you can play golf, for frak’s sake!), the amount of different vehicles you can drive (and steal) is brutal and the storyline is fantastic. The missions are surprisingly refreshing and not as repetitive as in previous versions. On the other hand, I was disappointed that the main storyline was so short, although I understand the game (as with most these days) is built for online gaming. Which is something I would like to try next!

"Damn this Indian food!!!"
“Damn this Indian food!!!”

And there you have it. My small but honest opinion on GTA V. I will post something else on the game after I’ve played online! See ya!!! 😛


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