Shannara rant

Today we had a “Pizza-tv” dinner, it’s something we like to do from time to time and we (loosely) rotate who chooses what to see – today it was my turn and the fifth episode of “The Shannara Chronicles” was on during showtime. Being the professional *cof *cof ranters we couldn’t let somethings get by.. here are some of them.

This one we get to see right from the first ep – The elven guard/army are one of the worst we’ve ever seen, everyone and their grandma can get past them with little effort (maybe those almost closed bucket helmets don’t help but still), they  don’t guard who they’re supposed to guard and in a fight they fare worst than a scarecrow! I mean, it’s like their life’s goal is to throw themselves, full-speed, at an enemy’s weapon to get killed in a couple of hits (Ah, yes, now that I’m bleeding out with my guts around my neck, my life’s goals are fulfilled!). Furthermore they’ve never hear of things like shields, spears, axes, bows/crossbows.. or any kind of metal armor! Only smooth leather and glorious swords are worthy of the knife ears! Swords are cool but come on..

Elfs have lost all tactical knowledge.. or plain common sense, you decide. An armed escort venturing through possible hostile territory goes without any defined formation, “scouts” are wherever they want to be (in the middle, behind or juggling some balls for all they care) instead of doing some actual scouting ahead or around their flanks. They have no ranged weapons whatsoever and no visible provisions even though they’ll be marching for at least a whole day (you forgot to pack lunch, fluff you then ’cause we don’t organize that kind of thing)

Having this two first point into account it’s no wonder they don’t stand a chance against a hand full of old dusty demons… but let’s keep going

Remember that girl who is your only hope and stuff? Then please just give her some kind of protection, a chainmail of something! It every one is out for Amberle’s blood then that corset won’t stop many blades or claws.. Oh, sorry, my mistake here, she has plot armor! XD Best kind out there indeed!

Getting a noob party together and send them in a dangerous quest (that will decide the fate of them all) against overwhelming odds has been done before and it worked out fine most of the times.. but at least they knew where they were going, not “we don’t know where we’re sending you.. maybe somewhere in that general direction.. you’ll get it right eventually!”

k, so according to what they say, 3000 years have past since humanity has gone out of business, right? Well, those damn barrels (and the labels) we’re really well made to have lasted that long out in the wild in such good conditions! And even better, the stuff inside is still as good and effective as the day it was stored! XD It’s almost as amazing as seeing the rover guy using a Zippo lighter to set fire to them – owning one I know those things are resistant but this is a whole other level!

Well, we know that this is a young adult series and that probably there won’t be many questioning or thinking about these little things… that aren’t that important but we just like to highlight them XP Apart from that, the show’s great, I’m also getting the books when possible


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